As the new year approaches it is common place to look back on the past year in reflection...reflection of our jobs, family, relationships but most importantly of ourselves and our accomplishments
Have you strived to accomplish new things in the year past and worked towards meeting new goals you set for yourself last New Years? The answer should be yes.
Every New Years Eve when the clock approaches twelve we are expected to come up with a "new year's resolution". Some of us may say more exercise, others may opt to quit smoking and some of us just don't care. If you look back on the past year and see no positive changes within yourself, your life, or relationships then it might be a good time to sit back and reflect not only on the past twelve months but perhaps the past few years or even the past 20 or 30.
It's a sad reality that many of us fall into a vicious cycle of continuous bad habits; not only with the way in which we take care of our bodies but also with our relationships, the people around us and the way we conduct ourselves in our daily activities. If our priorities are out of order or we are always looking for an easy way out of a problem or a quick fix to a situation then we will never get ahead in life... or in our relationships.

It is easy to say we want to do something or accomplish something but as the expression goes "talk is cheap it takes money to buy whisky". So why is it that so many of us want to succeed and become successful human beings in all areas of our life but most of us fall short? There are many factors that can play a role from insecurities to depression to laziness. According to healthprofessor.com two-thirds (67%) of Canadians have had experience with depression or anxiety, with 36% saying they have suffered from it themselves. But what causes these factors? Younger Canadians are more aware of the strength of the impact that depression and anxiety plays. 84% of people 18 to 34 years old believe the impact is strong, compared to 78% of those 35 to 64 and 71% of those 64 and over who feel the same. It could very well be your past and your past experiences that are inhibiting you from changing your life for the better.
Many people are stuck in the past and hold on to it like a security blanket. This "security blanket" ends up taking precedent over everything else in life and can set the stage for what he or she believes to be of priority. When people should be thinking about bettering their future and working towards making more money or building a stronger "self" through discipline and hard work they may instead focus on finding a mate or even just being happy to get by. Many of us find ourselves stuck in relationships that we don't have the strength to release ourselves from, or stuck in the job that we always say we want to quit but don't take the necessary steps to acquire a better employment position.
Is your past subconsciously inhibiting you from moving on with your future? Do you find yourself pushing good things away feeling undeserving? Are you stuck feeling isolated, alone and asking yourself why you are in the position you are? Some of us live in denial but for others we may feel we are undeserving of good things. It is our past that has shaped these insecurities and these feelings and the only way we can move forward is to face the past. We must face what it is we so desperately run from and dissect it in order to learn and recognize our true potential and not be afraid to use it.
Reflection of Ones Self
We don't always necessarily say what we are thinking so it's not likely someone you associate yourself with is going to know your most inner thoughts. If you are stuck in the past, subconsciously you will try to portray a false image of your feelings and attempt to put forth an image of security, self confidence and inner strength. This may work at first but over time you can not hide it and it will eventually shine through.
Does your mind focus on old hurts or resentments during the course of the day? Do you become bitter or defensive about certain topics? Do you feel lethargic, unmotivated or unwilling to try new things, meet new people, or go new places? Are your friends and family becoming tiresome of your lack of will power? Are they impatient with your inability to brake free from old habits? Are they pushing you to move forward? Is your lack of motivation and inability to change taking a toll on people around you? Do you ever ask yourself why is it that you do the things you do? When you find yourself at this point you have most likely already thrown so much opportunity out the window and set yourself back years. This is when you know it's time to reflect, accept and forgive...no matter what it takes.
As Anthony DeMello once said "What you resist persists. When you fight something you're tied to it forever. As long as you're fighting it, you're giving it power".
Letting Go
What is it that you hold onto that prevents you from being the productive achieving person you can be? What is it that prevents you from feeling deserving of good things? What inhibits you from achievement in certain areas? What is stealing your happiness and preventing you from further development of yourself? Focusing on the past or harboring resentment could eventually control every action you take in life breaking your spirit and zapping your energy.
Holding onto a part of your past prevents you from present enjoyment.
There are also physical ailments that may incur as your body copes with
the negative energy you inflict upon it. Resentment binds us to the very
circumstances and people we dislike. This resentment will eventually break
us down and destroy us.
Forgive and Forget
The only way to move on and break-free is to truly forgive and let go of
all the pain and hurt attributed to the actions of another. Doing this
will bring closure for all pain and even though the memories will still
exist, you will have faced them and now control them. you must learn to
wash your hands clean or you'll continue to live a shallow existence
without true happiness and self joy.
With forgiveness and facing the past will come inner calmness and peace; you'll start to recognize the true priorities you should have focused on before. Understanding and facing your past will allow you to build better relationships and not settle for what your past subconsciously made you feel you deserved. You will begin to take a new outlook on life and realize that making more mature positive decisions will lead to new acquired tastes and accomplished goals. This new self empowerment will allow you see life for what it truly is and take control of it. You will stand up and rejoice and let go of all negativity, bad habits and people that fed your self pity and loathing. No longer will you shrug your shoulders at opportunity but you will focus on what is truly important...family, financial security self independence, and your health. You will do what you want and visit the places that you want while not being afraid to be happy or be alone. You will have a new confidence and self absurdity about yourself.
This new year make the resolution to truly change and throw your past in the trash. You and you alone are the only person that can make a difference in your life, so step up to the plate and start becoming a more confident secure and motivated you!